I’m 3 weeks into having three children (one day I’ll get around to sharing the birth story, but for now I’ll just say: the baby was not born in the car and I was able to get an epidural, which is seriously the best medical innovation to date) and it is absolute chaos.
Let’s discuss some of the ridiculous things that have happened since bringing our baby home:
- Our middle child, Y, bit new baby’s Z finger when he was only a few days old. Seriously kid!? Fortunately Z was okay, but it was a clear sign that Y was not going to warm up to him easily. We’ve since made sure that Y has a bit more one-on-one time with everyone, and we continue to call him our baby. He has since only given him lots of kisses, so perhaps our approach is working.
- Z was not sleeping at all the first few days (and, truth be told, is not sleeping great now, but I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt since he’s still a newborn). I should clarify: he would sleep just fine as long as he nursed the whole time and/or I held him. We ended up hiring a night nanny, who came highly recommended by two friends. We had her spend 3 weekend nights with us so we could be as well-rested as possible for the big kids during the day. It was incredibly helpful (even though I still had to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed the baby), but on the third night we caught her catching a snooze with our baby on the couch next to her! As my husband would say: “Seriously!? You have one job.” So we don’t have a night nanny anymore. But Z is cooperating and starting to sleep a bit at night. We can usually get one or two 2-2.5 hr stretches. I believe there was one night when we got two 3 hr stretches. Glorious!
- I took Z out with me to a store the other day, when he was 2 wks old. I’ve been trying to lay low and not exert myself too much (also trying to keep Z away from germs), but I have unfortunately had a few time-sensitive errands to run. On this particular day, Z bawled his eyes out in the car (his M.O.). After we parked, I was trying to load up the stroller quickly so that I could pick up the wailing newborn. I thought I had closed our SUV’s trunk, and didn’t see that it had ricocheted back to half-open due to an umbrella stroller wheel sticking out the back. Unfortunately, I wasn’t looking up when I walked behind the car again and I ran straight into the side of trunk door. It was a pretty good blow, but when I touched my hand to my head to feel it, I was still surprised to see my hand coated with blood. OMG. My husband was at work, my mom was at home with Y, and I was bleeding from my head in the middle of a parking lot 30 minutes from home, with a wailing newborn still buckled into his carseat in the car. The whole thing was ridiculous. I ended up keeping my appointment at the store (I’m sure the woman working there thought I was insane coming in with a newborn with a blood-soaked Kleenex pressed against my head, asking whether I could use their bathroom to clean out my wound). I called one of my surgical colleagues right away and asked whether she had time to squeeze me in that day because I was pretty sure I needed stitches. And that’s how my quick errand turning into an afternoon spent in my clinic getting stitches. Silver lining: at least this happened on my scalp, where the scar will be hidden by my hair, and not on my forehead!
- Negotiating 3 sleep schedules has been tough. As I mentioned, Z is not sleeping great. X has woken up really early a few days (e.g. 5:30am). I wouldn’t care if he could just sit quietly in bed, but he usually uses the restroom and calls someone to wipe him (so that’s one adult who needs to wake up) and then he goes back into his room, usually noisily, and wakes up Y (since they are now sharing a room). I also wouldn’t care about this if Y was a morning person, but he likes to sleep in, so this automatically makes for a cranky pants morning. Y still takes long naps (3 hours) so we pick him up after a half day of “preschool” and let him snooze at home. Honestly, it would be much easier to have him stay at school all day as opposed to driving to this school three times per day (drop-off for both kids, pick-up for Y mid-day, pick-up for X end of day), but the times we’ve tried a full day of school (including today) have been an absolute disaster. Y is a zombie and in a TERRIBLE mood, so it’s honestly more miserable than taking an extra drive mid-day. Just a few nights ago, I had finally settled Z out of my arms and into the Rock ‘N Play. Then, all of a sudden, I hear crying coming from X&Y’s room (it’s around 9:30pm so this shouldn’t be happening since they had fallen asleep some time before). I check out the Nest Cam and see that Y is standing up in his crib bawling. Oh no. If he wakes up X, we’re going to have a problem. And why is he up crying!? I rush into the room to make sure he doesn’t have a dirty diaper or a fever. Negative on both counts. I carry him out of the room to comfort him and then tell him calmly that he’s going to have to sleep in his crib tonight. That doesn’t go over very well. Ultimately, I let him cry it out in his crib and spend the whole time praying that X doesn’t wake up. By some miracle, he does not, and Y settles to sleep after a few minutes. And, of course, Z wakes up just a bit after that.
- Family outings are a nightmare. I’m serious! It takes forever for us to get out of the house and we seriously need a rolling suitcase as opposed to a diaper bag whenever we leave. My mom has been in town, so right now we have a 1 adult to 1 child ratio. However, when she leaves, we are going to be in big trouble! X and Y always seem to dart in different directions. Z has blowouts literally only when we are out somewhere! And without fail someone will throw a tantrum.
In sum, things are crazy. I feel like I am barely surviving when all 3 kids are home. That being said, I would choose to have a third child a million times over. I love the chaos and would honestly love a fourth child (crazy, right? Pretty sure there’s no way to convince my husband that this would be a good idea). I also know that these days are fleeting. In just a blink they’ll be teenagers, looking for ways to escape into their rooms. So I’ll enjoy the endless cuddles, each boy vying for mom’s attentions. And I’ll even take the tantrums, tears, and sibling rivalry.