Almost to the finish line and I have so many mixed feelings about this:
- Incredulity – I can’t believe this pregnancy is almost over – where did the time go!?
- Panic – How are we ever going to complete our to-do list before the due date? I have so many things I want to accomplish before the baby gets here. Some minor home improvement projects, wrapping up everything at work (I am so behind – it seems insurmountable!)
- Anxiety – Labor is not the most pleasant experience so I can’t say I’m necessarily looking forward to that part! We also almost didn’t make it to the hospital when my second was born, so I’ve been thinking about scheduling an induction this time around. I do prefer to go into labor without intervention, but didn’t love how chaotic things felt with my last delivery.
- Exhaustion – I’ve been staying up late to get things done and work has been super hectic because patients keep calling to make an appointment before I go. I feel guilty leaving them for so many months (although have amazing colleagues who will see them while I’m out) and keep saying yes, even though the days are long. Also, my belly is getting heavy and being on my feet during the day is exhausting!
- Worry – Will baby be healthy? Will my older kids be alright with the new addition? How will we handle the sleep deprivation? What if this baby also has colic (like my first)?
- Sadness .- This may very well be my last pregnancy (definitely will be, according to my husband!). I know I’ve been incredibly blessed to be pregnant 3 times (especially after my fertility struggles the first time around), but it does make it sad to think about closing the door on my childbearing years.
- Excitement – Another newborn! I can’t wait to see and hold him. I wonder what he will look like. I had a growth ultrasound yesterday (still being monitored because of the false negative toxoplasmosis result) and they estimated that he was 6 lbs 9 oz. I couldn’t believe it! That’s like a real baby! He was so cramped in there – space is certainly getting tight.
In other news, our (current) littlest guy started preschool 2 weeks ago. It was ROUGH in the beginning. He had a tough time adjusting. As it happened, he wasn’t able to attend the first 3 days we had enrolled him because he woke up sick on the first day of school! We couldn’t believe it. This kid has been the healthiest since birth (despite a germ-y older brother), but of course he had to wake up with a fever on his first day. Fortunately, our nanny was available to help us out. However, she had other plans the last two days of the week, and my husband and I had to work, so we threw him right into the deep end – he stayed for the whole day those first two days! He was always so tired when we picked him up. And he cried…a LOT.
So the following week, we decided to stick with the half-day schedule. I wasn’t sure how this would fly with my oldest (they are at the same school but different classes, so I didn’t know if he would be confused/upset if his brother was picked up earlier), but he did great. We told him his little brother couldn’t stay the whole day yet because he was too small, even though he really wanted to. Drop-offs were still tough that first half of the week (he even angrily hit a teacher one morning after I left!), but he soon began to adjust to the schedule, and started to cry less and less at drop off.
This Monday, the sweetest thing happened. He clung to me like he always does when we arrived at school. But when I told him that it was time for me to go and that he should stay with his brother (they have a joint playtime in the morning while all the kids arrive), he took a few steps towards his big brother with tears welling up in his eyes, held his hand, and tried his best to look brave. He turned around to look at me when I left, but he didn’t bawl for the first time! And since then, it has only continued to improve. Today, he walked away from ME when I dropped him off, and happily took a spot next to his brother on his yoga mat.
Overall, he’s adjusting REALLY well and I am so happy this happened before the new baby comes to town. They’ll have their summer break soon, and then we’ll need to decide whether it’s time to enroll him in the full day schedule!
Here are a few books I found useful to prepare your little ones to start preschool. Both kids really loved these books during their transition periods, and I think they very plainly lay out the emotions kids may experience when leaving their parents for the first time.
Stories of a Life... 