Supermarket Sweep

When the kids fall asleep, I suddenly feel like I’m in an episode of Supermarket Sweep. Does anyone remember that show? Contestants had to run through the aisles of a grocery store, packing it with as many groceries as possible, in the hopes of collecting the most expensive goods.

When the kids fall asleep I am like one of those contestants – frantically racking my brain for what needs to get done before the little ones awake. I completely forget my To Do list as the most salient tasks in front of me pop up – folding that pile of laundry, washing all of the water bottles and snack containers from the morning outing, putting away the produce we’ve collected from the farmer’s market. So, yes, often there is a lot of cleaning and organizing. Sometimes there will be a work task – following up with a patient by phone, responding to a time-sensitive e-mail, editing a paper or making headway on a deadline. Sometimes (less often than I’d like), I opt to do something creative – reading (New York Times, New Yorker, the current book club pick, another book of interest) or writing (here or in my journal). I respond to messages I haven’t responded to in days. And sometimes I decide to take a nap, because as soon as the kids wake up (more energized than ever), round 2 begins!

So here I am, typing up a few words before the littles wake up. I’m feeling sleepier than usual today so I may opt to take a nap afterwards. Just another day in my glamorous life!

So sleepy

I always stay up past my bedtime. I’m on vacation at the moment, waking up ~2 times per night because our baby isn’t quite used to this travel sleep set-up, but I can’t seem to get myself to bed at night. I should be falling asleep as soon as the kiddos go down, but I stay up because I can. I stay up for this quiet time when no one needs anything. I stay up because I can think without interruption. I stay up because I can waste time or be productive without counting down the minutes until nap time is over or independent play has grown stale.

I love this quiet time. I love my family, and I cherish the moments with them so very much, but I also like this feeling of quiet solitude. I could have it in the morning if I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed before the first baby stirred, but this is impossible at the moment. And so I hold onto these quiet evenings. I wait until everyone goes to sleep and then I sift through my to-do list, I plow through notes and patient messages, I fill in my calendar, I online shop, I wander aimlessly from website to website, I contemplate (and sometimes even write) a blog post. And then I finally feel ready to sleep – having savored a small bit of ‘me’ time, if only for a short while, if only at the very tail of the evening.